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Friendship is often measured in small acts of kindness — showing up, giving time, or putting in effort simply because you care. But sometimes, those gestures reveal something deeper: whether your kindness is truly valued or quietly taken for granted.
Two weeks ago, I learned that lesson in a way I’ll never forget.
An invitation that thrilled me
When a close friend invited me to her baby shower, I volunteered to handle food for fifty guests. I spent hours cooking, baking, and preparing everything with love, imagining the joy and celebration ahead.
The message that shattered my excitement
Late that night, a message arrived:
“I’m so sorry, but I have to uninvite you. The venue can’t hold everyone. I hope you can drop off the food tomorrow, though.”
After all my effort, I was wanted only for my contribution — not my presence. It felt like being told: “Your work is welcome. You are not.”
My response
Instead of anger, I replied calmly:
“Thank you for the invite. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to deliver the food either, plans have changed.”
I set a boundary — quietly, firmly.
The aftermath
The next day, I learned the event didn’t go smoothly. Food ran out, guests were unsatisfied. Relief washed over me: this was never just about food — it was about respect.
The lesson
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Kindness should never cost your dignity.
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True friends appreciate your efforts.
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Saying “no” is okay when generosity is taken for granted.
Boundaries protect energy and ensure it goes to those who value us.
Reflection for seniors
At fifty, sixty, or beyond, we deserve relationships that uplift us, not drain us. True friends never “uninvite” you while keeping your contribution. They want you — not just what you provide.
Those are the friendships worth holding on to.
